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LONDON: A new generation of men are booking out all-male retreats to “find their masculinity” — paying upwards of $2000 for ice baths, bushwalks and sharing their innermost thoughts around a campfire.

From mud baths to “manly s…”, attendees are encouraged to have difficult conversations and ditch “toxic habits” like “watching porn”.

The groups claim to help attendees “become a better man” and cope with work and financial stress, marriage or relationship breakdowns, porn addiction, mental health, dating woes and loneliness.

Chilly Willys is among a string of companies marketing to WA men in the past year.

They’re recording a surge in demand across sessions, with the last retreat a sellout.

Co-founder of their retreats Stefan Woroglian, known online as Stefan Dadi, said they were designed to give participants grounding and introspection, build better relationships and create safe and healthy communities.

Through highly curated social media videos that garner a cult-like following, the group promises a “soul-stirring journey” for participants to “courageously” confront their “shadows”.

Video from previous sessions shows men crying in group circles and carrying large pieces of wood across paddocks.

Mr Woroglian said the retreat was structured on the “archetypal hero’s journey”, with the men leaving home for an adventure and facing challenges before returning.

“There’s a sense of empowerment, conquering and victory,” he said.

The median age of his retreats would be between 25 and 35.

Generally, men were either already on a “transformative journey” or struggling and “at wit’s end” in life, work or their relationship.

Created by the brains behind Cold Nips, which hosts early morning mass beach swims, Chilly Willys also hosts retreats and fortnightly all-male group meet-ups.

From running into the ocean together holding hands, playing tag on the sand, talking in sharing circles or one-on-one, or gathering at the local coffee shop, it creates a space where men can make friends and talk through issues.

“It’s about a normalisation of being open, honest and explorative in conversation,” Mr Woroglian said.

While droves of WA men are booking out the sessions, it’s not an entirely new phenomenon.

Retreats for men gained some prominence in America in the 90s before spilling over to Australia.

It was around the time the bestselling pop-psychology book Iron John by Robert Bly was published, offering a new vision of what it meant to be a man.

University of Western Australia gender studies convenor and practising psychotherapist Chantal Bourgault Du Coudray said Bly’s movement, which died away a few years later, was a prototype for “men retreating into the woods and going wild” and taking part in initiation-like rituals.

“If I put my psychotherapist hat on then I think Bly was speaking to something really important,” she said.

“Then if I put my gender studies scholar hat on, I’m irritated by how quick Bly was, and many of his peers as well, to point the finger at women and feminism as part of the problem that men are experiencing.”

Professor Bourgault Du Coudray also raised concerns about the timing of the resurgence amid increasingly polarised gender discussions online and the so-called “manosphere” which promotes masculinity, misogyny and opposition to feminism post #MeToo.

While she acknowledged that some elements of the feminist movement were unhelpful, such as the trending hashtag #MenAreTrash, blaming the empowerment of women could spark “gender wars”.

Celebrating the potential benefits of retreats for growth, building better relations and acknowledging the disturbing impact porn addiction was having on young men, Professor Bourgault Du Coudray shared some reservations.

She cited concerns such as that all-male group activities could be echo chambers, not be professionally informed, reinforce harmful gender cultures such as a “bro code”, price out marginalised and in-need men, have limitations on support or not adequately make referrals.

Mr Woroglian said he didn’t view the surge of men feeling misplaced as a “blame game” on the feminist movement.

“I really do not see it like that. I see it as a renegotiation. There’s just been a complete revolution in gender dynamics. We’re just smack bang in the middle of it,” he said.

“That revolution has been fantastic for women, and it needed to happen.

“I think what it’s caused for men, though, is a loss of place and a loss of a sense of what it is that they bring to the table any more.

“There are a lot of men who feel alienated.

“The backlash against ‘patriarchal values’ through the rise of feminism has caused an underlying demonisation of masculinity.

“I think that that has become internalised in young men and that creates a lot of internal conflict.

“They’re not connected to their masculinity. There’s a lostness.”

On the flipside, anecdotally he felt women “weren’t satisfied” with today’s confused gender roles.

He said female friends often complained men were no longer approaching them in dating scenarios and men described feeling cautious.

WA company Good Blokes Co. has hosted multiple retreats each year for up to 30 men since its 2016 launch.

A panic attack had prompted founder Mike Dyson to seek greater social connection and as part of that he attended a local men’s group, which opened his mind to the importance of “men’s work”.

“The level of accountability that happened through that men’s group was quite profound and life-changing,” he said.

“Every man in Australia needs a place where he can connect, where he can get support.”

His sessions have drawn men aged anywhere from 18 to 78 and from all walks of life.

There were three key types of men Mr Dyson identified coming through his retreats: early 20s men entering the workforce, 30s dads not wanting to pass on unhealthy behaviours to their sons, and lonely, friendless 40-plus men.

The youngest cohort were those who were beginning to have more interactions with women in the workplace and were unsure how their masculinity fit in.

“There’s a lot of young men who are learning about relationships and about women and about sex through YouTube, TikTok and pornography,” Mr Dyson said.

“What they’re getting is this really dodgy version of unreality.”

He said often attendees remained friends years after.

One story that stayed with him was about a man deciding to address two dozen teammates about alcohol peer pressuring at his local footy club.

Mr Dyson said he was aware of criticism of such camps, which included homophobic slurs, but labelled it as “stupid” and narrow-minded.

”You get old guys who are critical of it, but you get really young guys who are sucked in by the Andrew Tates and think talking about your feelings is not for guys,” he said.

“It’s not so much about gathering around the fire or dancing in the moonlight.

“It’s about making this really practical so that these conversations can happen in schools, community, workplaces and backyards around the country.”

He did offer caution that some operating in the area weren’t necessarily providing healthy guidance for men.

“There are other groups like mine who are doing really good things but there’s also some men’s groups that are not necessarily healthy, that are just focused on resilience, strength, and don’t consider our impact on women, children, leadership or community,” he said.

“I think people should just be really discerning with making sure they’re clear on what the philosophy of the group they’re working with is all about.”

Mr Dyson said the idea that men are “victims” of gender wars “wasn’t productive”.

“It doesn’t lead us towards understanding men better,” he said.

Perth psychologist Marny Lishman said the trend of men attending retreats and all-male groups appeared to be a “positive direction” decades in the making.

“Whether it’s community groups, retreats or just actually saying ‘Hey, do you want to catch up for a coffee and a chat?’ It’s a positive direction that we’re heading,” she said.

“I think we’ve been missing that for probably decades. A lot of men are missing that kind of village aspect. They’ve been missing a camaraderie of sorts.”

Often seeing professional, working Gen X or baby boomer men, she said a key theme was dealing with political correctness in the workplace.

“They don’t know where they fit any more because they report feeling that they can’t say anything,” she said. “Everything seems to be inappropriate.”